To keep the cold out!

> > . >
> > A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship & orders a Scotch with two
> drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says,'I'm
> on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today...' >
> The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a
> drink. In fact, this one's on me.' >
> As the woman finishes her drink, a woman to her right says, 'I'd
> like to buy you a drink, too.' >
> The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two
> drops of water.' >
> 'Coming up,' says the bartender. >
> As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like
> to buy you one, too.' >
> The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch
> with two drops of water.' >
> 'Coming right up,' the bartender says. >
> As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity.
> Why the Scotch & only two drops of water?' >
> The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned
> how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole
> other issue.' >
> >
> > 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Your sweetie says, 'Let's go upstairs & make love,' and you answer, > 'Pick one; I can't do both!' >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes & you're
> barefoot. >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > A sexy babe catches your fancy & your pacemaker opens the garage door. >
> >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Going braless pulls all the wrinkles out of your face. >
> >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't
> have to go along. >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police >
> >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fibre
> today. >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot. >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > An 'all nighter' means not getting up to use the bathroom. >
> AND >
> 'OLD' IS WHEN... > Too many of these are no longer jokes