Really, really... really bad jokes.

Brent,
I'll forward these, but only because I owe you! ;)

Begin forwarded message:

Retaliation Headbangers

 
  The French will eat almost anything. A young cook decided that the French would enjoy feasting on rabbits and decided to raise rabbits in Paris and sell them to the finer restaurants in the city. He searched all over Paris seeking a suitable place to raise his rabbits. None could be found. Finally, an old priest at the cathedral said he could have a small area behind the rectory for his rabbits. He successfully raised a number of them, and when he went about Paris selling them, a restaurant owner asked him where he got such fresh rabbits.
  The young man replied, “I raise them myself, near the cathedral. In fact, I have ... a hutch back of Notre Dame".
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Pat: Hey, Chris! How's your new pet fish doing? You told me he was really something special.
Chris: To tell you the truth, I'm really disappointed in him. The guy who sold him to me said I could teach him to sing like a bird.
Pat: You bought a fish because you thought you could teach him to sing like a bird? I can't believe it!
Chris: Well, yeah. After all, he's a parrot fish.
Pat: I hate to tell you this, Chris, but while you might be able to teach a parrot bird to sing, you're never going to get anywhere with a parrot fish.
Chris: That's what you think! He can sing all right. The thing is, he keeps singing off-key. It's driving me crazy. Do you know how hard it is to tuna fish?
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  A noted biologist, who had been studying little green frogs in a swamp, was stumped. The frog population, despite efforts at predator control, was declining at an alarming rate. A chemist at a nearby college came up with a solution: The frogs, due to a chemical change in the swamp water, simply couldn’t stay coupled long enough to reproduce successfully. The chemist then brewed up a new adhesive to assist the frogs’ togetherness, which included one part sodium.
  It seems the little green frogs needed some monosodium glue to mate.
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  The maharajah of an Indian Province issued a royal decree. He ordered that no one was to kill any wild animals while he was the country’s leader. The decree was honored until there were so many Bengal Tigers running loose that the people revolted and threw the maharajah from power.
  This is the first known instance of the reign being called on account of the game.
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  There was one a dromedary whose fur was an amazingly close match in colour to the desert sand, and he was almost impossible to see. Some called him 'the invisible dromedary', but in reality he wasn't invisible.
  He was just really well camel-flaged.
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My Father was a brick layer before he was sent to prison; to this day he still isn’t a free mason.
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My friend Max hates going up steep hills. He's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max.
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Ever since my friend had all the digits amputated from his feet, he can't drink milk.
He's lack-toes intolerant.
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